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Comedy Store Bits

Hey. I know I just posted a video/post yesterday and it’s kind of out of character for me to do two in a row, but I actually have something to post and am too eager to wait any longer. I mean, I’ve got to get it out there right now so that twelve people will listen to it and marginally enjoy it or I’ll never forgive myself.

Anyway, it’s a bit of a mash-up of material I performed during both of my shows at the Comedy Store. I did more time on both occasions, but I’ve cut out both the stuff that you’ve heard/seen before in my other videos and the stuff that just didn’t work because only I thought it was funny or I messed up on stage (though I did leave one mess-up, because I’m pretty happy with what I did with it).

Yeah, so here’s that. Sorry for the shitty audio quality on most of it. The bits were recorded on my iPod and during the first show, the iPod was in my pocket so I didn’t have to make people wait while I set it up, but I learned the next time and put it on the stool to get better audio. God, this is boring. Why am I telling you this?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the bits. I hope to go up again soon at the end of February with pretty much all new material. I have to wait because I’m working on a feature all next month (doing craft services, so don’t be too impressed).

I guess that’s it. Orphanette’s playing The Good Hurt again on my 29th birthday (February 9th), so come see us there and buy me drinks. We’re also playing next Saturday at some art show in downtown LA, but I don’t have the details yet. I’ll tweet them when I do.

Bye.

Video

So, I was on the Opie & Anthony Show and I’m writing a movie with Kevin McDonald

The proof is in the pudding. Actually, it’s in the video (I don’t even have any pudding), so watch it, then continue reading below.

Okay, so I know this isn’t quite what I said it was. But it still counts! And I swear to god it’s true – I was wearing a WOW (Whip ’em Out Wednesday) shirt that my friend Kyle gave to me in the hopes that I could get Opie to sign it, but I chickened out and didn’t want to bother the dude. I was working as a Production Assistant on the show. The photo in the video was taken during the time where we filmed the “pranks” Opie mentions, and I was wearing the WOW shirt when Opie came back to shoot the staged portions and presentation. That’s why I’m not wearing the shirt in the actual video/photo.

So, while the title of this post might be somewhat misleading, it’s still kind of true and big deal to me. One of my dreams as a comic is to one day do something cool enough that it warrants a visit to the Opie & Anthony Show (preferably when Norton’s in), so I can just “shoot the shit” with those guys and inevitably be the least funny guy in the room. I kind of look at this as the first step in that direction. Most of my favorite modern comics are regulars on that show (Jim Norton, Louis CK, Patrice O’Neal was before his untimely death, “Fat” Bob Kelly), so to be on that show for real some day would be a serious dream come true. And I’m obviously a fan of Opie and Anthony themselves. In my opinion, their show is what radio should be – honest and edgy.

Anyway, yeah, I got to have this amazing experience because I was working on “Who Gets the Last Laugh?” as a Production Assistant, and I also had another completely awesome experience on that show – I got to drive Kids in the Hall’s Kevin McDonald to and from set in my car. Holy shit!

If you’re not familiar with Kids In The Hall, first of all, I don’t care about you because they’re one of the greatest comedy troupes of all time, and second of all, go Google them and change your life.

I grew up on Kids in the Hall and, very honestly, their comedy had a serious influence on my own. I was too young to catch them at their prime, but me, my brother, Nick, and some of my friends in middle school watched the re-runs on Comedy Central any time we could catch them, and more importantly, I owned (and still own) their movie, Brain Candy, on VHS and must have watched it 30 or 40 times between the ages of 12 and 15.

So, when I got to pick up Kevin McDonald and talk to him about Brain Candy, it was pretty god-damned spectacular. He told me about the original ending to Brain Candy that got cut after test screenings (I never knew they had one!); sang The Pixies’ “Monkey Gone to Heaven” acapella in an effort to make me listen to me listen to more Pixies (which I’m doing as I write this post); gave me a list of movies I needed to watch based on our mutual tastes in comedy (which was almost completely Terry Gilliam movies I haven’t seen); and talked to me in-depth about writing comedy. We both decided we write real, dramatic, oft-depressing backdrops for our comedies because we’re both in the school of thought that you can’t really have a good, cathartic laugh without real dramatic stakes. After coming to that conclusion, he joked that the two of us were meant to write a movie together, and I acted way too eager and possibly scared him a little, but oh well.

So, again, perhaps a little bit of overstatement being used in this post, but also again, fuck you. I don’t care. It was a big deal to me. I have his contact information, and as he was getting out of the car to go home he said, “I have a feeling it won’t be the last time I hear from you.” Whether he meant I was going to stalk him or I was going to succeed in comedy, I’m not sure, but I’m going to hope it’s the latter.

Speaking of which, Russell Peters was also on the show, and if you remember correctly, I “opened” for him back in November. I met him again briefly and he was a really nice guy (and well-dressed, I must say). But what I’m really getting at is that I’ll be posting some audio from that Comedy Store gig and the following one in the coming days.

Bye.

-Chris

Orphanette (That’s the band that I’m in. Duh)

So, holy shit, check this out – our first show at The Good Hurt nightclub in LA went really well. So well, in fact, that we’re playing there again on February 9th, my 29th birthday, so come buy me several drinks and listen to me beat the shit out of the drums. We have more shows coming up as well, including a show on January 4th at Central with a Led Zeppelin cover band headed by Anthrax’s Scott Ian (holier shit!) 

If you missed the show this past week, you can check out two of the songs via Facebook video: “All On You” and “One Little Sip”. Also, do yourself a favor and become a fan of Orphanette over at Orphanette’s Facebook page so I don’t keep having to tell you about all this shit. 

As far as comedy goes, just a reminder that I’m performing at Vargus’ show on Wednesday, January 2 at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room.

I guess that’s it. 

-Chris

Another (Kind of Uneventful) Update

Hello again. Please refrain from breaking into song a la Neil Diamond. No one gets that? Okay, let’s move on to the post.

Hi. This is an update. I just did a show at the Comedy Store. It went well. Really well. Unfortunately, I don’t have video recording, but I do have audio. The copy I’ve heard so far is of pretty horrible sound quality, so I don’t think I’m going to share that, but if I get the other one and it’s good, maybe I’ll post it. You’re kind of not missing that much, a lot of it is material that you can already see here on my website or over at that YouTube site, and the stuff you haven’t heard, to be honest, I kind of want to save because I’m almost certainly going to use it again.

And there will be an again! I’m going back up at the Comedy Store on Wednesday, January 2nd. A whole nother (but not necessarily all-new) five-eight minutes. So be excited and be there. Tickets are, as usual, $10 and there’s a two drink minimum. Don’t worry, I don’t see any of that money, so if you don’t like my set, you won’t necessarily directly be supporting me, but there will probably be another comic there that you do like! Last time there were around 10 comics and they were all really funny (I was the funniest, of course). There was even a surprise appearance/set at the end of the night by the mega famous Russell Peters, so who knows who could show up next time, right? Also, I can technically say I’ve opened for Russell Peters now, can’t I? I mean, is that kosher? It’s not necessarily lying, because I did go on the same stage before him on the same night in front of the same crowd. So yeah. Fuck you, I’m saying it.

Anyway, come see me on the 2nd. I’ll be funnier there than I’m being right now, I promise.

Also, check this shit out: I’m in a band! Yup, I’m the drummer for a local LA band called Orphanette. We’re kind of a retro-alternative, not-so-indy-but-a-little-indy kind of band. And guess what. HOLY SHIT! We’re playing a show. Yup, you can find all of the relevant information HERE. It’s going to be fun. We’ve been practicing our asses off upwards of 1-2 times a week.

Hmmm, what else? I guess nothing. Isn’t that enough? Two different performances of different kinds of entertainment? What the fuck do you want from me? A ballet recital too? All right, fine, but you’re going to have to wait for the next update.

Love,

Chris

Update

How’s it going, everybody? And that’s a legitimate question. If you don’t individually respond and let me know, I’m going to be sincerely upset. Please, if you’re reading this post, let me know. A lot of people throw that phrase out as a greeting when they’re talking to people, and I don’t think it usually gets answered. It’s often met by “Hey, man. What’s up?” or something like that, but I typed it, so it’s there because I really meant it. So if you don’t answer, then I’ve immortalized those words and you didn’t even take the time to respond. How humiliated would I be? If you don’t respond, then who will? I could look like an idiot forever – my words broadcasted on the Internet – and no one takes the time to answer. That’s devastating potential. If you don’t answer, it could literally affect me for the rest of my life.

Okay, sorry. This is a stupid beginning to a post that is amusing only me for the moment – when I read it later, I’m going to think it was stupid too, so don’t worry. Anyway, I’m just kidding. I don’t care how you’re doing.

But here’s how I’m doing.

First, I’ve got big news: I’m doing a show at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles on Wednesday night (with a couple of other comics) and it’s probably the biggest stand-up opportunity I’ve had to date. If enough people come see me, I will get to come back and be part of a bigger show and there’s a possibility that I will be paid and become a professional comedian because I will be able to say I got paid to do stand-up. It probably doesn’t seem like it, but that’s a big deal to me. So please, at the rest of sounding pathetic, if you’re in LA and reading this, please come to my fucking show on Wednesday. And, as a little incentive, if you come to the show, I will personally thank you in a future blog post. I know, I know. I’m being a bit charitable and perhaps overcompensating with such promises, but this is a big deal for me.

Moving on, I’m in a band now. I play drums for a local LA band called Orphanette. We played a show this past Thursday at OTIS (which was said to be “amazing” by BOTH people in the audience) and we’re almost definitely playing another show on December 12 at The Good Hurt.

I guess that’s it. I felt the need to post something, and this is it, because this is as long as my attention span holds. Anyway, please come to my show(s) and spend money on me. I’d really appreciate it. Also, expect another collaboration with my brother, Sean Ainsworth, in the very near future as I am spending a week in San Francisco to visit him for Thanksgiving. We’re going to do something in the vein of what you’re about to see below in the sense that we’re going to conceptualize, write, star in and shoot something while I’m there, then edit it as quickly and roughly as possible.

Until next time,

Chris

Welcome, newcomers!

Yeah, so, welcome, newcomers! (Don’t worry, all of those commas were warranted. And don’t get caught up on the fact that addressing the “newcomers” assumes that there were “oldcomers.”)

Anyway, I just got finished interning/PAing on a film called Lovesick, directed by Luke Matheny and starring Matt LeBlanc, Ali Larter, Adam Rodriguez and Chevy Chase. Check it out, it should be funny. It was a great experience and if I werent so lazy I would totally write about it.

During the film, I handed out a lot of business cards (upwards of 15!), so hopefully there will be a few new people running across my website.

That being said, here’s some of my best received pieces.

 

Stand-Up Comedy/ Storytelling:

 

 

And just for fun, the first time I ever did stand-up:

 

 

mom mom (a comedy sketch)

The Baltimore Station Band (a documentary short I wrote, directed and edited)
 
 
And finally…
 
Rites of Ash – “Burn” (a music video I co-wrote and co-directed)
 
There’s all kinds of other shit on here you might find interesting or entertaining, and I hope to start doing stand-up again in the next week or so now that I’m out in LA, so check back for low quality videos of that. You can also check out my design work, if for some reason you’d want to.
Thanks for coming. Hopefully it wasn’t a waste of your time.
-Chris

One Godverdomme Cup of Coffee

Hi.

I’m posting this here so that you give me money. Well, not directly to me, but to the film that I’m working on. The film (as I think I’ve previously mentioned, but am too lazy to check my past posts) is called One Godverdomme Cup of Coffee. It’s a short that is going to be directed by Mr. Eric Elofson, a promising filmmaker coming out of NYU Tisch. It’s about the last minutes of a man’s life before he faces execution via the electric chair in Changi prison, Singapore and how he desperately fights for the last thing he has to fight for – his final meal request. It’s of course a comedy (which should have been obvious as soon as I said “execution”) and the story was initially written by Mr. Elofson, but he’s brought me on board to do some re-writing and reconceptualizing and our collaboration is going very well so far. At least, he’s done nothing but praise my work, so I’m happy and still like him. I really think we have something neat here, so you should give us (moreso Eric) your money. For more information, watch this thing:

There. So, again, donate. Please. It could be possible I’ll see money for this (though it’s not likely), and I’ll gladly let you pay me.

On another note, I’m relocating again. This time, I’m headed to The Angels, California. That’s “Los Angeles” for all of you Spaniards. I’m going to be breaking into the industry and taking the world by storm, or at least by pesky breeze. I’ll be picking my production company (Tangled Web Productions) back up as soon as possible and making sketches and webisodes of some stupid, short comedy series (serieses? More than one) with my friends Matt McRee, Will Buckingham, Russell Clarke, Amy Hartman, and perhaps more people if they want to waste time and work on a mediocre product for no money. I’m also going to start doing stand-up again (I know I’ve been saying that for a while, and you’ve not been caring, but I’ve been stockpiling new material for the LA clubs, so look out, world, and prepare yourselves for some polite laughter).

That’s it for now. Sooner than later I’m going to redesign the Tangled Website to match the amazing design quality that this site does(n’t) have.

Adios (that’s “Goodbye” for all of you non-Spaniards),

-Chris

Oh, fuck. Almost forgot. Here’s the link to where to send money: IndieGogo/Godverdomme Cup of Coffee

Updated Design Portfolio

Hey, kids. Instead of doing what I was supposed to do last night, I took the liberty of updating my design portfolio over at http://chrisrebbert.carbonmade.com. I added a bunch of crap, including a new section called “Posters and Promotional Art,” which features six all-new pieces like the movie poster below I designed for Atsuko Hirayanagi’s Mō Ikkai. There’s also some cool new shit that I hadn’t had the chance to put on there in the section titled “Print Advertisements and Layouts,” but it’s there now so… uh.. notice it. And on a desperate sidenote, if anyone needs to hire or recommend a graphic designer, you know where to find me. Not to sound desperate, but, I’m desperate. And I need money.

Image

In other news, I’m currently writing a short film for director Eric Elofson which he will be shooting in Singapore in early August, so keep an eye out for that. It’s going to be really awesome. Probably.

Finally, this is kind of fun (is it really, Chris?) – I’m finally on IMDB. Go check out my IMDB page and start fabricating rumors about my shady past, rising star status and alleged affairs with established Hollywood actresses on the discussion boards so that I can gain some undeserved attention and people care about me a little bit.

I guess that’s it. I’m boring today.

-Chris

Parting Words (New article at TheCobraPaper.com)

Hey, everybody. Just alerting you to an article I wrote over at The Cobra Paper. It’s pretty good, and I can say that objectively, because I wrote it.

It’s my unsolicited parting words to Tisch Asia. Enjoy. I’ve copied and pasted it here in case you can’t access it, but try to give The Cobra Paper traffic too (not that you’re reading this or giving my site traffic).

Parting Words – No Easy Task for a Writer
•  June 12, 2012

By Chris Rebbert

It’s over. Two years gone, just like that. I’ve graduated, I’ve left Singapore, and for better or for worse, I’ve come back home. Now comes the scary part: trying to find employment so I can pay back these god damned student loans (most of which were spent on upsetting amounts of alcohol and other unnecessary consumables because I’m stupid, weak, and bad with money). But before all of that – before I make the next move in my life and career – I feel like there’s some air to clear. I feel like there’s a few things I have to say before I leave Tisch Asia behind me, at least for the foreseeable future. So here they are.

First, the positive. Going to Tisch Asia was hands-down the best decision I ever made in my life; but I’d be lying if I said the decision was completely mine. Like many of you, I didn’t apply to Tisch Asia – I applied to NYU Tisch in New York. I had vivid dreams of grandeur that involved me living in the Big Apple, writing at corner coffee shops, sharing a tiny apartment with a wacky room-mate of ambiguous ethnicity who would annoy the shit out of me by making me crawl out of my cynical writers’ hole and fall in love with the world in a new and different way (and for some reason we’d solve crimes together on the side). I thought I’d get a part time job at a small bar where I’d meet all of the real friends I’d have the rest of my life and win the heart of some big-name actress who accidentally wandered in one night looking to give a writer his first big break.

None of that shit happened. I mean, I did meet some great people who I hope will be my friends for the rest of my life, but I didn’t meet them in New York. I met them in Singapore. Yes, Singapore – one of the last places in the world I’d ever have expected to find myself, but NYU asked me to come there when I didn’t get into the NYC campus. The fact that I didn’t really get into any other respectable programs and the scholarship that Tisch Asia offered sort of pulled me in that direction. Whether or not I beat out a lot of other candidates, or whether or not NYU was just interested in my money and would have taken anybody is a thought that used to plague my mind daily, but now it truly doesn’t bother me one bit. I really don’t care either way. I made good use of the two years I was there and I got an education I could never have imagined or planned – an education that wasn’t laid out in a syllabus or talked about in recruitment literature. I got an education that I worked for and was able to have a hand in creating. I learned a lot about myself, people, the world; and like many of you, I worked really fucking hard to get it. So again, I don’t know what I was supposed to receive in terms of training as an artist and writer; I don’t know whether or not this education is going to give me success in the field; and I don’t know whether or not I was given the same education I would have received in New York at the original Tisch campus. But I do know one thing: I’m a way better artist and writer now than I was two years ago.

And isn’t it obvious? You should be able to tell based on where this piece is going. I mean, it’s so well-structured it’s like you already know what I’m going to write next. Okay, let’s drop the sarcasm – I know I’m digressing, but this sort of has to be stream-of-consciousness or it’s not going to feel genuine (more on that in a moment – see, there is planning!). Plus, I got my degree in Dramatic Writing, not Journalism, so fuck you. If you don’t like it, stop reading. Now, picking up from my last thought, what does it mean to be an artist and a writer? What did I learn in the Lion City that was so special? Why was it such a good decision to go there? Calm down. Jesus. Keep reading and I’ll tell you.

The first thing I learned is that no one can teach you to be a good writer or a good artist, so don’t expect them to. It’s just not possible. The sooner you learn that, the better. Yeah, they can teach you structure. Yeah, they can teach you technique. Yeah, they can tell you what to read and what to watch – which writers and artists who came before you are worth checking out because they succeeded – but they can’t teach you how to create good art. No one can. It’s got to come from inside of you or it’s going to feel manufactured to everyone who experiences it. What your teachers can do is tell you what not to do and what steps you might be able to take to help find your way as an artist. They can help you refine your own artistic voice, so when it comes to that, make sure you listen instead of just making that voice louder and more obnoxious because you think it has so much to say.

If, as a now Master of Fine Arts, you’ll allow me to teach you something, it’s this – don’t just immerse yourself in art. Nothing’s going to make your work more sterile or inaccessible than doing nothing but watching movies, reading scripts and working on your own stuff. Whether or not life imitates art or art imitates life, the two have got to cross paths at some point. They have to inform one another. In order to comment on life, you’ve got to live. I personally think that you should take a few years to just be a person in the world before you even think about honing a craft of this nature. This is why most artists don’t get recognized until they’re older, or dead (Avoid being one of those guys if you can, but I’m not going to tell you how to live your life). To represent people in art, you need to know their struggles. Get a job that sucks, has nothing to do with art and gives you little to no emotional fulfillment; be poor; put yourself in a position where you don’t know how you’re going to find or afford your next meal; fall in love; have your heart broken; break somebody else’s heart; get confused about your sexuality (just saying – hypothetically, wasn’t part of my experience); find your vice and battle it until one of you wins; do anything and everything that people do when they’re not purposefully creating art. The more, the better. Good art comes from specificity and a particular struggle, and the best place to derive specificity is experience. You’ll be amazed how much someone will connect to a stupid, little, minute detail you put into something that you drew from your own experiences or someone else’s that you knew. The devil, after all, is in the details; and in art, the details are king.

Being at Tisch Asia helped me with that – figuring out the details and where to derive them from. For instance, I fucking hated Singapore. Sorry. Maybe that’s too harsh. Singapore just sure as shit wasn’t the place for me. It was too clean, too organized, and too safe. It wasn’t what I was used to and I felt out of place. I missed graffiti and litter on the streets – the signs of people actually having lived there. I missed looking over my shoulder constantly while walking around late at night. I missed the comforts (and, to be honest, the vices) I had found for myself at home. But, as an artist, putting myself into that position was a good thing, and you should do it too.


First off, I had to find new comforts and new vices, so I got to round out my arsenal of inspiration a bit more. No more cheap booze; Chipotle; Dunkin’ Donuts; and other, unmentionable vices meant finding new, Asia-friendly ways to ruin my body and mind, giving me more to write about and rounding out my perspective. Second, I got a chance to take a look at myself outside of my own natural habitat. It wasn’t until I moved to Singapore that I realized how truly American I was, despite my life-long apathy and misunderstanding of patriotism. For instance, I never thought I had an accent. I’ve fought against having one for as long as I can remember. If you’ve ever been to Baltimore, you’ll know why – you’ve never heard such long, horrendous O’s in your life – but apparently, the O’s snuck into my pronunciation despite my best efforts and my classmates at Tisch Asia certainly meant to remind me of this. On a more important and relevant note, I didn’t realize how deeply rooted my own morals and values were in Christian-centric, Western culture. To elaborate on this, let me turn to one of the few things I consider to be a perk of living Singapore – its proximity to other countries easily allows you to travel to and from there and see more of the world. Because of this, I went to Vietnam where eating dog was considered a delicacy. My kneejerk reaction to this custom was, “What the cute, cold-nosed puppy fuck?! How could anyone eat a dog?” But once I thought about it, why is it any different than eating a cow or a pig? After all, science shows us that both of these animals are smarter than dogs, and they’re all mammals (and tasty ones!).

What it boils down to is this – someone told me once when I was younger that you shouldn’t hurt dogs, and since that moment its been ingrained in me as a moral constant, but if you take a step back and think about it, once upon a time the people there fighting for survival and their next meal probably had access to a dog when we had access to a cow, and so the tradition begin. Or at least, I’m guessing that’s how it happened (I’m too lazy to look it up). So fuck it, eat a dog. Shit, eat a puppy. It’s not my business. Okay, don’t eat a puppy, but seriously, having these experiences not only opened my eyes to my own culture’s influence upon me, but also made me look more closely at why other people act the way they do. This is something I consider to be essential when it comes to being a good artist.

This leads me to my next point and something I think is the most important thing I taught myself while at Tisch Asia: if you’re judging your characters, you’re doing it wrong. This also translates to being a good person in my humble opinion, but your job as an artist is to bring light to people and their situations, it’s not to preach (that’s why there’s preachers, stupid, and it’s also why less and less people are listening to those preachers). If you fail to find the reasons your characters act the way they do and decide to vilify the opposition (which in most cases will be your antagonist), you’re not doing anybody any good. What we do as artists in the realm of drama is bring humanity to an ideology, no matter how stupid or irrelevant that ideology is. It’s our duty to boil down that ethos to a relatable icon with a human (or in some cases, non-human) face and figure out why they tick so that we can cast a light upon them that other mediums can not. If you’re not aware of this, your characters are going to feel flat. It’s understanding this that will give your characters depth and dimension. I’m not saying I fully have a grasp on how to do this, but I am aware of its necessity.


Finally, be aware of the backlash this may bring. People don’t like to think, but it’s our job to make them do just that. They don’t want to put a face on their enemy (it’s easier just to point the finger and hate), so if you ask them to do that, chances are, they’re going to vilify you in some way or another. That is also a responsibility of ours as artists – you’ve got to be able to take the backlash if and when the time comes. You can’t and certainly shouldn’t be making dramatic art because you want other people to like you (and don’t get me started on money – if you’re doing it for the money, kill yourself). You should be making drama to tell a story, and stories, after all, are how we learn from one another. In fact, if you’re doing your job right, some people won’t like you, but shit, people learn best from conflict. Society needs artists because it needs stirrers – someone to kick some spice into the pot and make things taste a little different. We’re supposed to make people think about things in a different way – whether it be political and social situations; what human beings are really capable of under certain circumstances and how much or little we actually have control over our own actions; or, more often the case in my work, what is and isn’t acceptable in the realm of humor (dick and fart jokes are always acceptable, by the way). So rile people up and show them what they know and believe isn’t the only way (and you should know that, you go to school in Asia after all).

All of that being said, hopefully any students who read this will have a new light cast upon their past, present or future education at Tisch Asia. How are these parting words? They’re my experiences and the things I learned as a Tasian. They’re what I learned, and like I said, no one can teach you how to be an artist, but you sure can learn a hell of a lot while trying to become one.

On one final note, I’d like to thank every single person I crossed paths with at Tisch Asia. I really hope to make you proud and that you do the same – that one day we can brag about the fact that we brushed shoulders far too many times in the tiny rooms and hallways of 3 Kay Siang Road. Deal? And those of you who are just arriving – those of you who are still there – take care of the place. Respect the equipment, revel in and promote our free speech in an otherwise censored country, and for god’s sake, clean up after yourselves. I know you’re busy editing, writing, animating and doing whatever the hell the producing students do, but there’s really no reason your McDonald’s bags should sit spilling sauces in the student lounges or your coffee cups and half-eaten sandwiches should stay tucked under the benches in the Black Box. With all of the things that happened this year and as much as we wanted to fight for our school, take care of the god damned place!

Well, I guess that’s it. Time for your favorite, tall, lanky, tattooed, vulgar, profane, often off-color joke-making asshole to sign out.

P.S. If anyone has some work for me, I could really use the money. Just saying.

Accolades From Graduation

Just posting a quick section of an article over at TheCobraPaper.com that talked about Matt and I’s speech at graduation. So, uh, here it is:

“Class speaker Chris Rebbert was the next to take the podium with a speech that began with a slightly shocking dose of negativity about the future of anyone hoping for a career in the arts, most especially film. There was an inkling of insincerity, however, within his words of premature expectations of absolute failure, that lead all of us to feel that something else was coming. As soon as fellow Dramatic Writer, Matt McRee started heckling his best friend from the audience, we knew that we were right. Chris was joined at the podium by McRee, Jack Daniels in hand and swigging, while the two dramatically enacted the debate that all of us students of the arts have with ourselves on a weekly, if not daily basis: To embark on an arts education or not, and is it worth it? Though our pursuit is very expensive, at times, almost impossibly difficult, and does not yield any guarantees on a future career, the guys asserted that their time at Tisch Asia has been some of the best of their lives. This sentiment, coming from a couple of hard-working, talented, yet self-branded screwballs, was especially effecting.

They found themselves as artists, a voice for their talent, a lot of joy and hope here, and most importantly, they found one another. But don’t think that all opportunity for cynicism was lost with these two. While celebrating the aspects that made Tisch Asia great for them, they also raised a bottle to the fact that we are now a part of NYU’s Global Network, to which Rebbert asked, “What does that even mean?”. The response from McRee echoed that of every member of the Tisch Asia community in the auditorium when he answered, “I have no idea.” Thank you Matt, for another priceless jab at… well, we don’t really know, do we?”

That’s it. Also, they messed up. I said, “We get to be part of a Global Network University.” Then Matt said, “What does that mean?” And I fucking followed with “I don’t know.” I know because I just copied that from the fucking script I wrote with Matt. So thank ME for that “priceless jab.” Just saying.

I’m writing my parting words for the same paper and they should be up this week, so fucking read them or else I’m doing all of this work for nothing for nothing. (That’s not a type-o, by the way. I mean, I’m not getting paid to write it, so if you don’t read it, I’m getting nothing for it monetarily – the first “for nothing” – and you’re not reading it, so it’s  done in vain – the second “for nothing”. So that sentence before these parentheses makes sense. I promise. Again, just saying. Fuck me for being this person).

All right. Bye or whatever.

-Chris