The poorly maintained website of a comedian and artist you've never heard of


How’s it going, everybody? And that’s a legitimate question. If you don’t individually respond and let me know, I’m going to be sincerely upset. Please, if you’re reading this post, let me know. A lot of people throw that phrase out as a greeting when they’re talking to people, and I don’t think it usually gets answered. It’s often met by “Hey, man. What’s up?” or something like that, but I typed it, so it’s there because I really meant it. So if you don’t answer, then I’ve immortalized those words and you didn’t even take the time to respond. How humiliated would I be? If you don’t respond, then who will? I could look like an idiot forever – my words broadcasted on the Internet – and no one takes the time to answer. That’s devastating potential. If you don’t answer, it could literally affect me for the rest of my life.

Okay, sorry. This is a stupid beginning to a post that is amusing only me for the moment – when I read it later, I’m going to think it was stupid too, so don’t worry. Anyway, I’m just kidding. I don’t care how you’re doing.

But here’s how I’m doing.

First, I’ve got big news: I’m doing a show at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles on Wednesday night (with a couple of other comics) and it’s probably the biggest stand-up opportunity I’ve had to date. If enough people come see me, I will get to come back and be part of a bigger show and there’s a possibility that I will be paid and become a professional comedian because I will be able to say I got paid to do stand-up. It probably doesn’t seem like it, but that’s a big deal to me. So please, at the rest of sounding pathetic, if you’re in LA and reading this, please come to my fucking show on Wednesday. And, as a little incentive, if you come to the show, I will personally thank you in a future blog post. I know, I know. I’m being a bit charitable and perhaps overcompensating with such promises, but this is a big deal for me.

Moving on, I’m in a band now. I play drums for a local LA band called Orphanette. We played a show this past Thursday at OTIS (which was said to be “amazing” by BOTH people in the audience) and we’re almost definitely playing another show on December 12 at The Good Hurt.

I guess that’s it. I felt the need to post something, and this is it, because this is as long as my attention span holds. Anyway, please come to my show(s) and spend money on me. I’d really appreciate it. Also, expect another collaboration with my brother, Sean Ainsworth, in the very near future as I am spending a week in San Francisco to visit him for Thanksgiving. We’re going to do something in the vein of what you’re about to see below in the sense that we’re going to conceptualize, write, star in and shoot something while I’m there, then edit it as quickly and roughly as possible.

Until next time,



2 responses

  1. I guess this is where I should have left the last comment. Don’t mind me, I’m just being stupid.

    November 12, 2012 at 5:56 am

  2. Stacey Rebbert

    Fine. I read it.

    November 12, 2012 at 6:11 am

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